Trust the Unseen

Today was really hard.  I guess you could probably tell that since I am blogging for the third time today.  I spent most of the day sobbing.  I feel weak.  I feel like I'm not doing enough. Am I doing what's right?  I feel like this storm will never end.  Where's my rainbow?

I talked to a friend today and she always says the perfect things to me.  She knows where I am right now in life and in my walk back to God.  I don't think I could do this without her.

I got through the rest of the day on her words even though I was tearful.  I made the kids dinner, I helped with homework, I bathed them, got them ready for bed, cried with them for a while because we are all so sad right now.  I put them all to bed, and I started on housework.

I've been plagued with negative thoughts and feelings today.  Lots of pain and resentment.  I felt like my brain was trying to overpower my heart.  My heart which is set on God fighting my brain which is reminding me of the crap I am dealing with right now.

I turned on Pandora to drown out the thoughts, and for the first time in a long long time, I put on Christian music.  I felt like my head needed to hear what my heart was hearing.

God knew I needed to hear Him today.  First, He played Never Alone by Barlow Girl.  I cried through the whole song because it's exactly what I was feeling when I called my friend. I felt like I was alone and God wasn't hearing me or wanting to help me.  She said, "Trust in God."  Trust the unseen....



After that a few more songs played while I cried into the dirty dish water.  Then this one I had never heard came on.  I have now listened to it several times and know most of the words because I feel God wanted me to be able to sing this when I feel like I'm weak and want to stop following Him.




I've said it before and I'm sure I will say it again, I pray constantly.  Sometimes, God knows exactly when you need to hear Him.