Now on to the subject matter at hand...
I was at church a few weeks ago and stopped afterwards to chat with Rachael, a long time friend of mine. We talked about finances mostly. I'm a single mom of four kids who has taken time off from working to give one of my struggling sons the time and attention he needs to function properly. It's tough, but I'm getting by. My faith hasn't faltered. Through all of this, I still know God's got this. No. Matter. What.
After chatting, she asked if she could pray for me. "Of course!" I said enthusiastically. I love it when she prays! It's moving. You can feel the spirituality flow through you. And for some reason, I always feel like her words to God pack such a huge punch in that moment. I always come out of it feeling like something was heard. I know God always hears me, and you, and anyone praying, but there's just something about Rachael's words and how she presents them.
She started off the prayer thanking God for bringing me back to my home church, the one I went to in high school, which is why we were sitting together catching up in the first place. She expressed how we are faithful in the fact that we know He holds my finances in His hands. She asked God to open doors for me for specific opportunities that I wish to keep between myself, Rachael, and God for right now. Then all of a sudden she stopped as if something came to realization. As if someone standing next to her whispered into her ear that that wasn't what I needed prayers for at all...
She continued by asking God to not make me lonely anymore. Something that we had not talked about once in our conversation, but it hit me like a ton of bricks because that, my friends, is what I am struggling with most right now. Tears streamed down my face as she compared me to Ruth and asked God to bring me my Boaz. Her words swirled around me and I felt lighter. God knew I needed to hear that before I fell once again.
Now skip forward to a few nights ago....
I was lying in bed feeling quite forlorn. Bedtime is usually when this hits me the hardest. I tuck my kids, my only daily company, in their beds, and there I am left to sit alone, to entertain myself, to comfort myself to sleep. The weightiness of the desolation is painful at times. I drown out the sorrow with TV and often sleeping medications because I just do not want to face it.
This night, however, I decided I needed to read the Bible instead. The word "Boaz" echoed in my ears as I picked up my iPad and opened up the YouVersion app. I've read the book of Ruth before, but never really studied it. So I decided to look for a plan that focused on one chapter of Ruth each day. I found one, clicked on it, and felt like God was smacking me in the face!
"Like Ruth, stay in your field and be faithful where you have been planted. Remain where God has placed you. Don't stray away from the field that God has put you in for this season just to go into another field where you will be out of His will (Ruth 2:8-9)."
I've been wondering where God wants me right now because I feel lost where I am. He answers so blatantly with such conviction sometimes!
But there's more...
"Ladies: WAIT FOR YOUR BOAZ"
Just that one simple sentence. "Wait for your Boaz." I have little to no patience ever. In all situations, I want what I want and I want it now. I often go looking for what I want and find a variation of it ending up settling for what's not right for me because I'm too impatient to wait for what God intends.
God clearly shouted this at me when I needed to hear it most. I mean, seriously, this was in all caps in the devotional. He makes me chuckle sometimes.
So I will wait....impatiently. But I know it's what's best. All of this has happened for a reason. I know that when Boaz finally finds me, it will be better than anything because it is what God intends. Marriage means a completely different thing to me now.
And as my mom said to me earlier this month: "God is working on him before he brings him to you."
