Who I Am

"Little girl, I say to you, get up!"-- Jesus  (Mark 5:41)

I remember reading the story of Jairus and his gravely ill daughter a couple years ago when I was in the depths of despair over my current situation.  Just before reading it, I remember I was curled up in a fetal position in my bed just crying out to God asking him to let me die because I couldn't face the pain I was suffering.  God called me to read His words at random, and I fell upon this story after leafing through my bible.  Jairus comes to Jesus asking for help as his daughter's illness is overcoming her.  As they are walking back to his house so that Jesus may meet the child, friends and family members are strewn about wailing over the young girl's death which occurred while Jairus was away.  Calmly, Jesus says, "Don't be afraid; just believe." (Mark 5:36)  Jesus places his hands on the little girl and says, "Talitha koum!" (Mark 5:41)  And she rises!

I felt like God was speaking directly to me.  I felt like His little girl, curled up in a ball on his lap, falling to pieces.  I felt Him stroke my hair, and gently whisper, "Get up.  You are going to be alright."  Because of these words, I put all my faith in God to bring me through what was killing me inside. Because I knew when it was all said and done, because I believed, I would be raised from the dead.

This was my devotional this morning.  I'm not dying from the pain of my situation this time, but I needed this reminder.  And just like before, God spoke to me.

I was praying two days ago asking God what he wanted me to do next because "I feel lost in who I am."  Those were the words I used when I spoke to him.

Then at church on New Year's Eve (What a fantastic idea to go to church instead of out to party!  I was so grateful for this!), shortly into worship, we sang "Made New" by Lincoln Brewster.

"You hold my head up

You remind me who I am."

...And the very next song was the one I heard that brought me to answer the altar call at church when I was 17.  The one that moved me to profess my belief that Jesus Christ is my lord and savior.

...And as if that wasn't a clear cut message straight from God, our pastor's wife stood up and prayed an amazing prayer of restoration over the congregation.  Within that, she asked God to restore who we are in Him.

...And then this morning, I read, "Talitha koum."

I love how God speaks to me!  It's time to believe and to rise up, to remember who I am in Christ, to keep walking with my faith forefront in my life, to remember what is most important to me. (Revisit this blog from last January.)

Bigger Miracles

Anyone can heal a man, but raising him from the dead?  Now that takes a bigger miracle.

Jesus had a friend named Lazarus.  He was very ill, so his sister, Martha, sent for Jesus.  "Lord, the one you love is sick." (John 11:3)  He loved him.  And although he knew his cherished friend was dying, he stayed where he was for two more days.

Why did he do that?  Lazarus was very ill, on his deathbed.  And Jesus loved him....he LOVED him.  Why did he wait if he knew that he was so close to death?

Lazarus died.  Jesus already knew that.  He waited the two days so that Lazarus would die.  What?  Didn't we just establish that he loved him??

"So then he told them plainly, 'Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe." -John 11:14-15

By the time they got to Lazarus, he had already been in the tomb for four days.  I tried to look up how long he was actually dead before Jesus got there, but Google frustrated me, so I gave up.  BUT think about it.  In this day and age, funerals are typically 4ish days after death.  Who knows about back in those times, but I would assume they had to take some time to prepare the tomb and the body before it was buried.  So Lazarus was dead probably about a whole week before Jesus got there.  Now we have established that Lazarus was not just barely dead, but completely dead....a week's worth of dead.

"'Lord,' Martha said to Jesus, 'if you had been here, my brother would not have died." -John 11:21

Martha and Mary (her sister) were mad.  They knew he could have gotten there before he died, but he didn't.  In fact, Mary wouldn't even come out to greet Jesus when he arrived she was so upset with him.  

Jesus cried for his beloved friend.  Everyone around him saw how much he loved Lazarus.  But still they were so confused as to why he waited to come.  Why would a man that can heal a blind stranger not come running to save the life of his dear friend?

Martha and Mary took Jesus to Lazarus' tomb and when Jesus said to remove the stone, Martha protested that her very dead brother would stink.  But Jesus had bigger miracles for those who believed.

"Then Jesus looked up and said, 'Father, I thank you that you have heard me.  I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." -John 11:41-42

After he spoke, his completely dead friend walked out of the tomb.

Like I said, anyone can heal a man, but it takes a bigger miracle to raise him from the dead.  Jesus knew what he was doing the whole time.  He knew his friend would die, and he knew he would bring him back to life.  He knew that they would be sad that he got there too late, but he knew raising him from the dead would make them believe more than healing him would.

Have you ever caught yourself in a really big trial in your life and wondered why God was taking so long to heal you?  It's because He has a bigger miracle to show you, to show the world.  He's waiting for the right moment to raise you from the dead because that is bigger than what you expect Him to do.  And when that bigger miracle happens, when you see the "glory of God" (v.40), you have no choice but to believe.