It's all about me!

When a conflict arises between any pair (be it a romantic relationship, a business relationship, a family relationship, or even strangers), our initial reaction is to automatically blame the other person.  It's their fault, right?  You didn't do anything.  Of course not, you are perfect!

I beg to differ, dear friend.

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? --Matthew 7:3

Jesus is saying that before you speak negatively about another person, before you judge them, before you evaluate their self worth, look at you.

No one is perfect other than Jesus.  It is perfectly ok that you did something wrong.  What is not ok, is if you think what you did wrong doesn't matter, and then on top of it, you chastise others for their wrongdoings.

My marriage has fallen apart.  I'm trusting God to bring it back together.  But I'm not just sitting around doing nothing.  We both had faults in this marriage, but nothing will ever be healed until I work on me.  God will work on him.

I've been praying to God to point out everything wrong about me. This is a harsh reality, let me tell you.  Criticism hurts even when it is constructive.  And for someone like me who has always prided herself on being right...it kills me to be so wrong.

But I also cannot tell you enough how freeing it feels to see clearly now.  I was praying earlier today and just thanked God for making me someone I actually like now.  I look back at who I used to be and am so appalled.  How did I even have friends?

I'm not done yet.  I'm working on me until the day I die.  I will always ask God to tell me where I am wrong because I am not perfect and never will be.  I will always ask Him to give me the desire to be more like Jesus, to be a better wife, mom, friend, daughter, sister, lover, human being.  Because walking with a plank sticking out of my face just isn't appealing to me.

Friends, I beg of you to look in the mirror.  Speaking purely from experience, when you see wrong in everything else and hate the world, it probably has something to do with what is in you.  Ask God to help you fix that.

Bigger Miracles

Anyone can heal a man, but raising him from the dead?  Now that takes a bigger miracle.

Jesus had a friend named Lazarus.  He was very ill, so his sister, Martha, sent for Jesus.  "Lord, the one you love is sick." (John 11:3)  He loved him.  And although he knew his cherished friend was dying, he stayed where he was for two more days.

Why did he do that?  Lazarus was very ill, on his deathbed.  And Jesus loved him....he LOVED him.  Why did he wait if he knew that he was so close to death?

Lazarus died.  Jesus already knew that.  He waited the two days so that Lazarus would die.  What?  Didn't we just establish that he loved him??

"So then he told them plainly, 'Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe." -John 11:14-15

By the time they got to Lazarus, he had already been in the tomb for four days.  I tried to look up how long he was actually dead before Jesus got there, but Google frustrated me, so I gave up.  BUT think about it.  In this day and age, funerals are typically 4ish days after death.  Who knows about back in those times, but I would assume they had to take some time to prepare the tomb and the body before it was buried.  So Lazarus was dead probably about a whole week before Jesus got there.  Now we have established that Lazarus was not just barely dead, but completely dead....a week's worth of dead.

"'Lord,' Martha said to Jesus, 'if you had been here, my brother would not have died." -John 11:21

Martha and Mary (her sister) were mad.  They knew he could have gotten there before he died, but he didn't.  In fact, Mary wouldn't even come out to greet Jesus when he arrived she was so upset with him.  

Jesus cried for his beloved friend.  Everyone around him saw how much he loved Lazarus.  But still they were so confused as to why he waited to come.  Why would a man that can heal a blind stranger not come running to save the life of his dear friend?

Martha and Mary took Jesus to Lazarus' tomb and when Jesus said to remove the stone, Martha protested that her very dead brother would stink.  But Jesus had bigger miracles for those who believed.

"Then Jesus looked up and said, 'Father, I thank you that you have heard me.  I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." -John 11:41-42

After he spoke, his completely dead friend walked out of the tomb.

Like I said, anyone can heal a man, but it takes a bigger miracle to raise him from the dead.  Jesus knew what he was doing the whole time.  He knew his friend would die, and he knew he would bring him back to life.  He knew that they would be sad that he got there too late, but he knew raising him from the dead would make them believe more than healing him would.

Have you ever caught yourself in a really big trial in your life and wondered why God was taking so long to heal you?  It's because He has a bigger miracle to show you, to show the world.  He's waiting for the right moment to raise you from the dead because that is bigger than what you expect Him to do.  And when that bigger miracle happens, when you see the "glory of God" (v.40), you have no choice but to believe.

Mustard Seeds

"For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” --Matthew 17:20

A mustard seed is 1 to 2mm in diameter.  Jesus says in the parable of the mustard seeds that it is the smallest of all seeds. (Matthew 13)

One of my sons has had a really tough life.  He has knocked on deaths door many times in his almost 7 years of life (and even before that in the womb).  I fully believe that he is here today, and a healthy little boy for that matter, because of mustard seeds.

My husband used to walk around at the hospitals our ill son was living in and sprinkle mustard seeds as he prayed.  He used to whisper the verse above to our son and tell him he "better get to moving those mountains".  He believed that all it took was faith in God's hand on our little teeny tiny baby boy and he would live.  And not only live but surpass all that the doctors said he would ever be able to do with that life.

If one tiny mustard seed can move a mountain, what can handfuls of mustard seeds do to a mole hill?  I'd say they can stomp on it and blow it to smithereens.  Amen.

What do you do when you are knocking on deaths door?  Have faith.  What do you do when a situation looks impossible?  Have faith.  What do you do when the devil chips away at your soul?  Throw mustard seeds at him.

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong." --1 Corinthians 16:13

Pray for the Enemy

There are 31,103 verses in the Bible.  I looked it up.  I wanted to know what the chances were that the same verses would show up in the several church sermons and devotionals I listen to and read daily.  1 verse in 31,103....wow...

So what was brought up to me several times between yesterday and today?  1) Shame; and 2) prayer for your enemy.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. --2 Timothy 2:15

In you, Lord my God, I put my trust. I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause. --Psalm 25:1-3

In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. --Psalm 31:1

I've been feeling not-good-enough for God lately.  And I've also been feeling like those reading my Facebook posts and/or hearing me speak of the word, devotionals, prayer, etc. are secretly laughing behind my back.  I wrote about the bravery of Paul when he was mocked and persecuted for his new found belief in the Lord the other day.  I assume as a human he felt the shame and guilt about his past too.  I'm sure the devil sat deep within him and threw these feelings up into his heart whenever he was about to speak of the glory of Jesus.  Just like me...

Yesterday, I was feeling rather hurt and angry about someone who I feel doesn't like me right now intentionally being hateful and hurtful.  Of course, I don't know that as truth but I was feeling it.  Actually, there are many people I'm feeling are doing that right now.  Then I start thinking about what they must be thinking about me in my walk back to God.  "Who does she think she is sharing Bible verses on Facebook?  Shame on her.  She's so two-faced."  I don't know if they are really saying this or thinking it, but that brings up so much shame in me.

Last night, I was having hateful thoughts towards these people.  But each time, I caught myself and said, "No, you need to pray for these thoughts to be taken right out of you as they do not portray what is in your heart."

Then this morning, one devotional spoke of Nehemiah rebuilding the wall in Jerusalem and how Sanballat and Tobiah ridiculed him and the Jews for the work they were doing. Nehemiah took what they were saying and did this:

Hear us, our God, for we are despised. Turn their insults back on their own heads. Give them over as plunder in a land of captivity. Do not cover up their guilt or blot out their sins from your sight, for they have thrown insults in the face of the builders. --Nehemiah 4:4-5

He prayed for the persecutors.  He asked God to show them what they are doing.  He didn't yell obscenities back at them. Nope, he said, "God, I will only make things worse if I speak right now, can you please handle this?"

And then this morning in church, the lesson was about this:

[Jesus Said] "You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.  And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." --Matthew 5:38-42

And he goes on to say:

"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." --Matthew 5:44

What?  So, Jesus, you are telling me that when someone hurts me, when any of those people make me feel shameful, I should walk away and then get on my knees and pray that you will bless them?

Clearly, God was working on me.  He not only gave these verses to me once, but he made sure I heard them over and over today.  He wanted to make sure that I got it and that I would do it.

I'm telling you, if you don't think God speaks, you are crazy.  There are 31,103 verses in the Bible, and through three devotionals and a church sermon, all of which have no correlation with each other what-so-ever, the same themes were preached upon in the last 24 hours.  He's speaking to me.