Drooling

I fasted for the first time religiously today. I don't know much about fasting--why we do it, if we are supposed to do it, what the importance of doing it is... But over the last two weeks I have had this feeling that I needed to do it. This feeling compounded with several "coincidental" scriptures and devotionals mentioning fasting in passing made me feel like God was calling me to do it.

Last weekend, I asked someone about it. They said you take something (not always food) away from yourself that is getting in the way of your relationship with God. That makes sense, right? What do you do first thing in the morning, check your Facebook page or read your devotionals? So fast from Facebook. I did that on Tuesday. Not Facebook because honestly it's not getting in the way of my relationship with God lately. Every time I'm on Facebook, it just makes me want to read my Bible. So I chose something that I put a lot of importance into, something that I often dealt with before reading the bible or praying.

It wasn't hard at all. It felt freeing and I did indeed spend more time reading the word. But it wasn't difficult. I asked God if I did it right. I didn't get a clear answer until I then decided that on Wednesday I would fast from food. I felt that if fasting from something else didn't feel right that going the old fashioned, in-the-Bible route would make a difference.

As soon as I made the choice to do that, the temptations flooded in. Wednesday my husband was planning a steak dinner (steak, potatoes, corn on the cob and rolls), so I told myself I would just fast the next day. Why waste a yummy steak dinner on a day that I'm fasting?! The next day I had to take the kids somewhere in the evening and knew that meant fast food (as opposed to fasting from food). Why torture myself with the smells of burgers and fries? Friday my son wanted to go out for lunch, couldn't pass that up. Saturday, my husband wanted to take the whole family out to lunch for Mother's Day. Again, who am I to pass up free food not prepared by myself?!

Each time I gave in to this whole "I'll fast tomorrow" game, I felt guilty. And what makes you feel guilty, folks? The devil! The enemy was tempting me to do something against what I had told God I was going to do. It wasn't so much the not-eating-food thing that was important. It was the I-made-a-promise-to-God-that-I-would-do-it thing! By giving in to the temptations that the devil laid in front of me, it was so easy to say, "Eh, I'll do it tomorrow."

By last night, I felt convicted to do what I said to God that I would do. And then God spoke! In a book I am reading about prayer, out of nowhere there is one sentence that says if there is a tough issue you are praying for and you need a breakthrough, fasting will make your prayers more effective. Now there was no mention of fasting before that and none after that. God just came right out and said, "Stop making excuses and fast!"

So I did.

Like I said, it's not about the not-eating thing. It's about not giving in to the temptations the devil lays out in front of you to make you do something that you told God you were going to do for Him. The donut holes (my favorite flavor too!) at church this morning, the half of a burger leftover by one of my kids at lunch this afternoon, the brownies sitting on the counter that I had made the night before, or that piece of chocolate that my daughter gave me to say Happy Mother's Day. That last one was difficult. She felt bad that she wasn't with me all day and that the day had sucked royally. All she wanted was to make me smile. Woo boy, that was a had one to turn down. Well played, devil. But I won.

And do you know how I won? Each and every time I felt tempted to eat something, I prayed. "God, keep me from evil and help me to do this one thing to show You that I am faithful." And He gave me strength. In fact, I really wasn't hungry all day besides those moments when I saw something delectable or thought about how easy it would be to just say, "Eh, I'll do it tomorrow."

I'm laying down to go to bed right now and happy to say I have not eaten a single bite (only drank water and tea) in 24 hours. I promised something to God and persevered passed the devil's temptations to deliver that promise. I showed my faith. At a time that I have been feeling weak, I showed that I can do this. My God is strong and so is my faith.